Thursday, August 18, 2005

How Much Time

It’s a football game, perhaps it’s the Super Bowl or maybe even the Playoffs - it’s the 4th quarter, and the players are tired. Their legs are aching and their lungs are burning, but they give everything they’ve got - and then some. They hold nothing back because they know exactly how much time is left. They know that in x number of minutes or seconds - win or lose - it will be over. And then they can rest.

“Life” is not like that. There is no time clock, we don’t know “exactly” anything, and so sometimes we seek a little respite; a little reserve.

When my Mother died I was there, but if I had known that that night was to be her last, I would have set beside her bed and held her hand all night, but I didn’t, and so I tried to get a little sleep, because I didn’t know how many more days and nights it would be. I knew it would be soon, but not exactly how soon. There was no time clock.

I don’t feel guilty; I don’t regret it, really, because I know that’s how it is. And I would have to do that again if a similar situation arose.

But because of that, I pray for strength for those who sit by bedsides, for those who try to grab a few moments of rest during the trial, because for them, there is no time clock either and they just don’t know how much more will be needed.

“God grant them grace, peace and strength.”


Betty Newman 1/18/05


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