Wednesday, December 13, 2006

The Sins I Do Not Know

GOD! Forgive me for these sins I do not know.

Dig deep within me and search them out. Bring them to the surface so that I may discern their existence and root them out of my life.

I avoid this, and abstain from that, but still, my “trying” to evade sin only serves to heighten my awareness of its presence.

“I” can’t eradicate my sin.

No matter how much I try. No matter how acquainted I am with its existence; no matter if You laid each and every one out for my close examination - still, “I” cannot remove them from my life.

I can’t “be better.” I can’t “live justly” for there is no “justness” to me. I am sin. Not only do I “do” sin, but I… am… sin…

David cried out, “In sin my mother conceived me.” And, so can I - so can we all. For yes, we are “fearfully and wonderfully made” but we are born in sin by sinful people. But still, I can’t say, “That’s just the way I am. I am filled with ‘sin nature’ and so I can’t help it.”

GOD! Forgive me for these sins I do not know.

I MUST take some responsibility. I must… bring them to the throne. I must… know them, Lord.

So, open my eyes. Lead me to look deep, beyond the façade of superficial “goodness” and see the “enemy” within. Show me where he resides, where he “dwells”, where he has settled into his easy chair and nestled into my soul. Show me the secret places where I have not allowed You. And even those, Lord, I ask you to take. May there be nothing of me.

Search me and try me. And in tears I cry, “Burn it out Lord!” Remove the dross. Burn the chaff… (Oh God, it is so difficult to say, but…) whatever… it… takes… Lord… Make me Thine. For Christ is my shelter. He is my “goodness.” He will carry my soul through the fires.

As He is You, He bought me (why, I’ll never know!) He pleads my case. And He alone can make me clean. Remove me, from me…

GOD! Forgive me for these sins I do not know…

©Betty J. Newman
December 2006


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