Tuesday, April 04, 2006

40 Days of Prayer (days 17-18)

Note: I wish I had started posting this at the beginning of Lent, but I didn't realize how it would grow, or be used in my journey, so I'm entering a day, or a few days' worth each day (depending on length) until I get caught up to the present day.

*****Day 17

March 21, 2006

The problem with my knowing that God works in history is that I am always “looking” for it. As I am praying for a definite answer for the direction of my business, of my service, and of my life, I “look” for God answering…

I heard a program on the radio that spoke of God’s leading (speaking of Abraham’s call) and the man said, “It’s better to go into the unknown with God, than to stay in the “known” without Him…” And it gave me chills…

As I was listening to that, I was waiting on a couple of friends of mine as we were going to have lunch together. Was God working in this? Was there going to be a bigger reason for us to be together than just a friendly lunch? I don’t believe in coincidence. What was to be the outcome of this lunch? Was there to be an outcome to this lunch? Or was I looking for something that wasn’t there. Why can’t I just sit back and let God do His work? I’m sure He’ll tell me when the time is right…

Ah, now by e-mail from a friend of mine, an opportunity presents itself for my business! What does this mean? But wait, there’s no money to take advantage of this opportunity… and I am back to the first “square” of my “bold prayer.”

Father, I will faithfully go into the “unknown” with You… As I remember, You only told Abraham to “go to a land which I will show you…” You didn’t tell him where it was until he got there. And so, is this “opportunity” really an opportunity, or is it a deterrent? I will “wait upon the Lord” to show me the way…

*** Day 18
March 22, 2006

As I come to my knees this morning, I have just learned of a sick child. Oh God! A child with cancer. God! I pray for her mother, and father and family, but especially God, for her mother.

No matter what we are facing, we always know that “there are others worse off than you are”; “worse off than we are”. So God, how long must that mantra go until we finally get to the very worst case - to that place where one could say, “NO! There is no one worse off! This is the very worst case!”

How does that person pray, Lord? There has to be someone at that place, doesn’t there? How do they pray? Do… they pray, Lord?

But I am brought back to this child. How do I pray boldly? Do I pray for healing? Do I actually pray for the “laws of nature” to be “controlled”? Of course I do! God of creation IS the God of the laws of nature - You are not controlled by anything. It is Yours to will and to please, and so I pray - heal this child.

I have seen within our own lives the “laws of nature” suspended. Oh, there was always an “explanation” as far as the “world” was concerned, but we knew, didn’t we God? We knew it was You. Healed eyes, healed body, healed child, and many, many healed “situations…” You alone God were/are the healer. And so I pray - heal this child.

There is another “child”, a young man - an adult, but still, his mother’s child. I pray for him - and others. I can’t truly pray “heal everyone” as there were those, even among those who saw Jesus, who were not healed… but all who “called upon the name of the Lord” were. And so I pray, boldly, in faith - heal this child.

I pray for other individuals. I pray what I don’t know how to pray for (names and names and names…) I do not know how you would have me pray for them, but I lift them up and may the Holy Spirit carry these groanings to the ear of Christ and may He whisper them to You. Christ - our Great High Priest who has Your ear, always. May He mold my words…

Father, I come back again to my own prayer - my own pleadings. “Show me Thy Way!”

God, I have prayed at times in the past when confronted with similar questions, “whatever would be Your will - increase my desire in [this] direction or decrease my desire in [that] direction, that my path may be directed.

And now, Lord, I hardly want to read any other thing than Your word. I have this huge stack of business magazines and books that I really need to be reading, that I need to be studying, but each time I sit down to read, I only want to study Your word! What are You trying to say to me Lord!? What?!

You brought to my mind once, “Reviving Bible Studies” - a way to have a “revival” within a “Bible Study” format. But Lord, I don’t know how to write lessons. I know how to write a sermon. I know how to prepare a talk, I could even prepare a series of sermons, but to put them into “lesson” or “study” form, I don’t know how. I look at our Sunday School lessons and think, “I could do better than that!” But who’s going to give me, without a degree, an opportunity to write lessons? It seems totally ridiculous.

But, until a few months ago, it would have seemed ridiculous to think that I (a female) would be speaking in a Baptist Church, to both men and women! And not only have I, but I’ve done it twice, within 3 weeks! And one of those was in a pulpit! How wild is that!?

So Lord, “Show me Thy Way!”

Lord, I’ve already committed to a very serious (and expensive) advertisement coming out soon. And shows, I’ve got a couple of new and (again) very expensive shows lined up - were these just impetuous actions or answers to unprayed prayers?

Lord! “Show me Thy Way!”


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